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I, too, heard the exact same dismissive tone when I attempted to file a complaint against a Twitter user a few years ago for sending me violent rape threats. The tone in the recording aggravated me because I recognized it. He had no job minimizing the incident and treating her as a child. First, this wasn’t the police officer’s call to make. You might ask what if the police officer was trying to do her a favour by advising against pursuit of a a case that probably wouldn’t go anywhere. The ordinary sexism of dismissing women's experiences of assault Doing so requires energy, time, and strength of character and I commend her for it. She then went back, filed a report and now is also bringing his behaviour to light. She had the composure to challenge the police officer's attempt to dismiss her complaint and, when she realized he was patronizing her and minimizing the incident as unworthy of attention, she was smart enough to start recording their interaction. They should simply do their jobs.Ĭavaliere, I should add, is 20 years old and barely a few months out of massage school.
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That is most certainly not what happened here and police should not dismiss legitimate claims, nor attempt to dissuade a citizen from filing a report. At a massage parlour, the client is not only paying for a massage, he’s paying for sexual release. The issue at the heart of this incident is consent.
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The case is innocuous enough that it doesn’t classify as sexual aggression (because the man didn’t attempt to touch her in any way), so many people will make the mistake of laughing it off as inconsequential. It may be telling about how women’s complaints about inappropriate sexual contact are routinely treated.
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What’s deeply offensive and worrisome about the police officer’s reaction is how many layers of ordinary sexism, and dismissive, patronizing behaviour, not to mention utter laziness, can be found in this solitary incident. I felt a combination of those emotions – and many more – while reading a CBC Montreal story about Claudia Cavaliere, a certified massage therapist who had a male client masturbate in front of her and then was discouraged from filing a report by a Montreal police officer who said “happy endings are part of the business” and she shouldn’t “be emotional” about such misunderstandings occasionally happening. Would you be livid? Flabbergasted? Disappointed? Worried about how many other people have been dismissed the same way? Would you, as a reader, react differently if the incident happened to a registered massage therapist rather than a doctor, an architect or a bartender? Would it matter? Should it matter? After you recover from the shock, imagine you report the incident to police and the police officer tries to dissuade you from filing a complaint, because “you have to be prepared to have weirdos” and happy endings are just “part of the business.” Imagine you’re an architect in a private consultation with a client when suddenly he unzips his pants, starts masturbating in front of you, reaches climax, and then asks you for a tissue, acting like nothing happened.